Voices Carry

 ... this really needs to go on my tombstone. (which I won't have because I'm being cremated, although so were my parents and they have a grave marker where their ashes are...whatever, it's ultimately not my decision) Welcome to my scattered mind. My mom used to say she was "scattered" and we all knew what she meant, but boy howdy, I now FULLY GET what that means. Most of the time she was extremely organized and rational, but I haven't felt either of those things in awhile. I'm just tired ALL the time. I'm getting very concerned about my eyesight. Last night reading was practically impossible: could not get the focal length right and see the words on the page. I'm struggling again tonight with the computer screen, so I'm skipping the book. I guess I need to start listening to books, maybe even while I exercise. <gasp> I'm not in love with ANY of this! Tomorrow, I'm heading up to Sparky's. The original plan was for me to go up ...

But it was only a dream. Honestly, yes, it was, and completely irrational, but in the big picture it definitely was dealing with some of the BS from work that I (used to) get mad about. Right now, I'm probably safe from caring even about this, though. Two of the other management crew apparently decided to clear out the detritus from our collection in the middle of the night. I had closed the for the night with one of them and she didn't mention it, then I couldn't get the building locked up because we had contractors building something in the Reference area (sorta) and they left an outside door ajar and lights on. There was a (not IRL) door out of the Reading Room and that's how I left the building. None of this was anything problematic except there were only three staff there at closing which is all kinds of problematic. There was a lot of extraneous faffing about outside at this point, eventually I got home (more idiocy there), and realized I'd left something at w...

 ...and I'm currently sitting in the recliner in my shorty nightshirt, face unwashed, shower undone at 3:40 p.m. The laundry from last time has accumulated but has not yet been folded. I still need to go collect the last load from the dryer. Which, I hope, is drying; I swear I started it when I tossed everything in the other day, but it was fully damp this morning when I went to check. That took ALL the wind out of my sails. My therapist wrote me a doctor's note for work Weds-Fri. I made it 6 hours of the workday yesterday and had to leave. I'm unfit for public consumption. I slept through church this morning. Essentially, it's been a fully useless week, except for a blood-draw on Thursday and therapy on Wednesday. Oh and I did an instacart order from Aldi at some point, which arrived with a giant can of coffee instead of the cheese I'd ordered. The coffee and the leftover, unopened packages of Oreos from Beast are now in my car to take to work for either the staff ...

It's 5:00 p.m. I've been awake for approximately 4 hours since midnight. Frankly the only reason I have gotten out of bed is to eat and pee, and sorta washed my face. The laundry remains piled in the living room, unwashed. Oops, no, I've got one washed from at least 10 days ago that has been sitting next to the recliner unfolded. The sheets and towels are desperately in need of changing, too. Today is a full-scale wallow day, after a highly-charged chaotic day yesterday* that involved me driving up to Sparky's to hold her hand while she  had a full-scale wallow about her 'miserable' life. Tried to get her back from the edge, called a friend to talk to her about job-hunting (he had a job suggestion on the phone  he was checking on today , which is a better lead than Sparky has discovered in 5 months!), took her to dinner (OMG, Kopp 's flavor-of-the-day and a grilled cheese ftw for me!), sat outside in the sunshine to eat, and then drove back home. I'm bea...

I have now officially worked 40 hours this week (plus the lunch hours I rarely use for lunch).  I work tomorrow as well, but only 4 hours of that day are open-to-the-public hours. But I work with the director as the other reference person--I'll be in the children's room the whole time. If it goes like today did, I might fall asleep in there! Spring has sprung and kids are outside! The other fun news is that I'm one of a sacred few who is allowed to fuss over the egg incubator this year. We have approximately 3 dozen chicken eggs on display and they will probably hatch in a couple of weeks. Unless the incubator kills them; it's being real dumb this year for some reason. It's always delightful to have the chickies once they're hatched. I really love this tradition despite the total hassle it is for staff. Anyway, the rest of my day will be doing some original cataloging and cleaning up of crappy OCLC records for items we're trying to add to our collection. I...

I have the weirdest, most eclectic pile of people I count as good friends. I just got off the phone with one of them. He's a guy I think I have only met once ( may be twice?) in person, but got to know better via Twitter (back 15 years ago when it was still fun to be on Twitter) and then Facebook. We talk no more than 2-3 times a year at most. Otherwise, it's mostly just random jamming on Facebook and the occasional PM.  There is no way I ever would have spoken to this guy IRL prior to knowing him via social media. He's smart, goofy, spacy, and the most snarled-up of many of my most messed-up friends. And he's hilarious. [before y'all go getting weird: he's married, it's complicated; he lives as far away from his wife as he lives from me; we're literally buddies/pals/friends; he has a roomie recently acquired who seems to also be his caregiver, but they are also just friends-ish--no benefits] I worry about him. He's not in good health. And he is occ...

 I have two lists, and a page of notes, plus pages of thank you notes to write... Here's the current lists, one of which is deceptively short. To Call/Email: Fidelity bank County Treasurer about house deed [lawyer] [life insurance agent] with death certificate [repair guy] General things that have occurred to me that need doing: cancel puzzles [Beast got a puzzle a month; I have four here that are unopened, plus another Christmas-y one that was too many pieces for him to use] Lawn Guru [need to set up my mowing for the summer] [alma mater] with obituary put away laundry reschedule cleaning ladies look for check replace lenses in glasses appointment for new tires store for pop, etc. check monthly Amazon order Factor Frankly, the first list can be dealt with by making one call, to the lawyer to make an appointment, and sending one email (death cert). The second list I can mostly do today without much effort; I just have to, yknow, DO THE THINGS. Sparky just said she doesn't want...